By Arlene K Unger, PhD
Self-worth begins when you recognize the things that make you unique and valuable. Every person has special talents and abilities, whether it’s being good at solving puzzles, making meals, giving support to friends, organizing things, sports, or showing yourself through art/music/dance. You should take some moments to think about what makes you uniquely you—these qualities set you apart and add to your self-worth.
Building a Network That Supports You
It’s crucial to surround yourself with positive, like-minded people for maintaining self-worth. You need relationships that uplift, support, and celebrate your strengths—not people who are exactly like you, but those who appreciate your individuality and encourage growth. Relationships that are toxic can wear down self-worth, so you should be intentional about which connections you nurture.
The Power of Self-Compassion
Being yourself means being kind to yourself. This step is perhaps the most challenging yet important one in building self-worth. Often, we are our own worst critics, especially when times are difficult. It is important to remember that challenges, mistakes, and vulnerabilities are part of being human.
Everyone makes mistakes,, but they can also be opportunities for genuine growth. When you practice self-forgiveness, it allows you to release the chains of perfectionism and embrace your humanity. Acknowledge setbacks without judgment when you face them. Think about what you can learn, then move forward while treating yourself kindly. You should treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a dear friend—with understanding, patience, and unconditional support.
Finding Your Voice
A critical skill for building self-worth is speaking up for yourself. This doesn’t mean being aggressive or obnoxious; it means expressing your needs, feelings, and boundaries with confidence and respect. When you learn to say “no” to something that doesn’t align with your values, it reinforces your sense of self-respect and personal value.
Personal Growth Never Stops
Self-worth expands when you challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone. Learning a new skill, taking a class, exploring a hobby, or approaching a familiar situation from a new perspective could be ways to do this. Every new experience is an opportunity to discover more about yourself and build confidence.
Reacting to Conflict
It’s important to remember that building self-worth is not a destination but a journey that has occasional moments of turbulence. Consistent effort, patience, and self-love are required. Before you react to conflict, pause and consider its source—is it truly about you? Try to distance yourself mentally or physically and look to your creativity for a solution. You might consider doing something completely new that you haven’t had time for in the past.
Your self-esteem can affect every facet of your existence including your work, interactions and health, that is if you let it. Boosting your self-esteem is not rocket science but it does take patience and perseverance. Using some basic cognitive tools like recognizing your triggers, harnessing your beliefs, challenging your inner critic, stepping back and replacing the unproductive thinking patterns with more productive ones can make all the difference. Mental health counseling can be a first step!
References
Mindfulness and Finding Life Balance – Part 8 – Compulsions (Blog from 2014)
Mindfulness and Finding Life Balance – Part 12 — Turn Self-Bashing into Mindful Self-Compassion This Holiday (Blog from 2015)
How to Build Real Self-Esteem That Lasts (Backed by Science, Not Buzzwords)
Important Note: Blogs on drarleneunger.com are for self-education and are not meant to diagnose or treat any illness. Seek the services of a licensed mental health professional if you need help with persistent issues.
Arlene K Unger PhD 